Life is like a flower...

When i was small, and all of my other sibling who were in the secondary at that time staying in the hostel because the school was quite far from our house. i was still in the primary and the youngest which means only me and my parents in the house, sometimes my parents have to leave me alone in the house as early as 3am in the morning, that's how i started to really hate when i left alone in the dark and when there was no one around. I would open the bible and read it really loud, my whole body would be trembling whenever i heard weird sounds. Ive this fear that they would leave me someday alone and at that time, I always wish that if i gonna leave this world, it would be me first so that i dont have to be worried to be left alone in this world. Ive experienced many many times woke up crying whenever i dreamt each of my family members especially my mother leaving me alone and never come back. Maybe that's one of the reasons that i do not want to get too close or too depending with anyone even my own family because the fear of losing. when things around me too comfortable im afraid that someday it would really hits me when i was no longer in the comfort zone. Being away from my family for many many years, ive learned to be independent and eventually ive come to accept that I need to learn to live on my own and not depending too much on them. ive experiences people that ive come to know, come and goes in my life.Some, went away somewhere to chase after their dreams,some.. starting a new chapter in their lives, and some have gone forever. as i grow up, i have accepted and realizes that nothing is going to stay forever..

Sometimes the fear of losing makes you holding back from doing something when you can do much better, holding back yourself to know people because you know that eventually they would gonna leave you, not able to do your best in your life because you afraid it's gonna failed you someday or you dont want people to look up to you because you afraid you gonna failed them or become a stumbleblock for them.

wherever we are, whatever we are at this very moment... we could not escape the facts that life is indeed a constant battle. Things may not always the way we've planned or expected, people you have come to know and love would come and goes in your life, you have tried so hard to do something and still never able to reach your goal, you prayed for something and nothing ever happened..

God never says that with Him, we would have never experiences temptations, pains and troubles in our lives, but He promises that He would never leave us alone..

Psalms 42:5 "Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him For the help of His presence. (Ref: NAST).

Even when Jesus in this earth, He had shown to us that God would never leave Him in his battle alone..

John 16:32 " "Behold, an hour is coming, and has already come, for you to be scattered, each to his own home, and to leave Me alone; and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me."

... because life with God it doesnt mean everything would be easy, we would go thru difficult life and experiencing ups and down in our lives but He promises that as long as we depending on Him, He would be our pillar of strength.

Sometimes God allows all the earthly things we lean on for security to be removed so we will learn to lean on Him. You have to agree with me that Job in the bible is perfect example for this. "Suffering and disappointment can cause us to despair and become bitter, or they can become opportunities for us to grow and mature. James 1 tells us that God uses all kinds of trials and difficulties to bring our faith to maturity. “Consider it pure joy... when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything” (James 1:2-4). Perseverance means to “hang in there” in spite of opposition, discouragement, loss, or any kind of oppression.(quoted frm other site)".

Sometimes when we gets too tired of our works and all kind of busyness in our daily lives, we tend to complain rather than to be thankful we've another day to complain about when some... never had a chance to make up what's yesterday. We get irritated with the people around us and constantly nagging of what they doing.. or too busy to to spend time with them or listen to their problems because we take everyday for granted not knowing that very moment may be our last day...

Ive also come to realize that I cant do things all on my own. Im not tough or strong enough to bear all my burdens by myself. I used to keep all my problems on my own because i do not want to be a burden for others.. but i realized they would just did the same to me, because just like how i feel about it, they too dont want to share their problems with me because they too feel that I dont want be burdened by them. Life is about sharing.. whether you like it or not.. we are bearing each other burdens. but the most important thing is that to know.. we do not have to bear it on our own.. or to burden others.. but just let God to take it away for us.

..and Just like the seasons, your family, your friends or the people around you may be in your life for temporarily, or just passing by.. they did not passed by accident or coincidence... they would leave footprints in your life.. they touched your life, they taught you about something and they would leave you not for nothing.. just like what you have done to them. You would continue your journey.. and passing by many new people..new places.. experience many battles and feel many kind of emotions.. but the most important thing is along the way.. along your journey, though we do not know what is going to happen next or tomorrow, you know who is really going to stay with you and holding your hand.. you have God continue holding your hand and pulling you whenever you gets tired or stumble.

so.. do not stop loving just because you know that someday they may be gone in your life.. do not giving up kindness just because the people around you sting, and appreciate all the pure things in your life, enjoy your day as much as you can no matter how worse it could gets, reach and climb higher though you know that you may lose or fall someday... because the worse could ever happened to you is not because you have done it and you failed.. but because you have never tried..

I like this song because it taught me something about life..

Martina McBride
Anyway


You can spend your whole life buildin'
Something from nothin
One storm could come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You could chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like i think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This worlds gone crazy
And it's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all you heart
For all the right reasons
And in a momemt they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like i think it should
But I do it anyway
Yeah I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singin'
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yeah sing it anyway

I sing
I dream
I love anyway



or the BMG version : href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FdB5Adws78&feature=related"

this is 'specially tribute to my late grandparents who have touched my life deeply when i was small especially my late grandmother on my father side, she passed away when i was 13/14. we used to sit around her whenever she visited us and listening to her fairy tale stories. We used to have a family reunion every year when both of my grandparents(Salagan's family) on my mother side were still alive and that's the only chance for me to meet most of my relatives. May God bless them.